What is this world coming to?  I just have to shake my head because I sure donít have the answer to that question.  All I can say is there are some really weird people still running around loose.  Iím not talking about your average, everyday certifiable nut.  Iím talking about interior decorators.
 Case in point:  Out in Los Angeles, thereís this man who decided he didnít have enough "seating" for his guests.  His decoratorís solution to the problem ­ build a teakwood removable platform to fit over the bathtub which would provide an "intimate" setting for small parties.  While he was at it, he put a wet bar complete with fine crystal in the bathroom, too.  Personally, I feel my bathroom has sufficient "seating" just the way it is and, somehow, I donít believe I want to be that "intimate" with any of my guests.
 Then thereís the theory of "fung schway" decorating.  I have no idea if I spelled that right but thatís how it sounds Ö and it sounds like a funny way to decorate, too.  This theory preaches furniture and accessory placement so that it doesnít interfere with your ying and yang.  Who cares if you have to spend hours watching the television over your left shoulder.  A little yoga and your neck will be as good as new Ö in a few months.  Iím not as concerned with my ying-yang as I am with my comfort.
 Think youíre leading a boring life?  Try the "combed concrete" idea for decorating.  First, you get yourself some concrete and mix it all up in a wheelbarrow and bring said mess right into your living room, being ever so careful not to spill on your beautiful carpet.  (Concrete doesnít come off of carpet all that well.)  Next, you take a trowel and spread all this concrete on your walls, moving quickly before it sets up.  Thatís when the fun begins.  After the concrete is adorning your walls, you run to your bathroom, get your hair comb and dash back to the living room where you "comb" the walls, first going one way and then the other until you have a pattern that suits your taste.  Still not right?  Go down to the hardware store and buy every bolt they have, then go home and screw them all into the wall in a random pattern, trying to hit as many wall studs as possible, which probably isnít such a bad idea since the plasterboard could use a little extra help staying upright with all the weight of the concrete.  And, to think, all you wanted was a little paint to cover the hand prints and dirt on that white wall!
 Let us not forget color.  Color is an important element of interior decorating.  The solution to that old cracked naughyde couch your husband simply will not give up is to put on a nice slip cover ­ preferably in a day-glo orange.  But then the chair next to it looks so shabby so you rush back out to find a nice crushed velvet slip cover in, um, letís say royal purple.  Throw in some lime green, a little red and probably fushia, too, and youíve done a great job.  Or, even better, get any two of these colors on the same piece of furniture at the same time!  Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to improve the looks of the couch-potato husband.
 I donít know.  Maybe Iím just old fashioned.  I think Iíll just keep my white walls, sans any bolts, and my comfortable old furniture.  It fits my style and, more importantly, it fits my, um, sitter.