1. Do cemetery workers prefer
the graveyard shift?
2. Do Lipton employees take coffee
breaks?
3. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded
firehouse?
4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
5. How do a fool and his money
GET together?
6. How do you know when its time
to tune your bagpipes?
7. How is it that a building burns
up as it burns down?
8. If a train station is where
the train stops, what is a work station?
9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon,
how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
10. If the pen is mightier than
the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a
fax?
11. If the police arrest a mime,
do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
12. If you throw a cat out the
car window, does it become kitty litter?
13. What hair color do they put
on the driver's licenses of bald men?
14. What was the best thing before
sliced bread?
15. Why do banks charge you a
"non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
16. Why do they put Braille on
the drive through bank machines?
17. Why do they sterilize the
needles for lethal injections?
18. If Barbie is so popular, why
do you have to buy her friends?
19. What year did Jesus think
it was?
20. If you get cheated by the
Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
21. What happens if you get scared
half to death twice?
22. If one synchronized swimmer
drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
23. What are Preparation A through
Preparation G?
24. After Eating, do amphibians
have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
25. In a country of free speech,
why are there phone bills?
26. Did Washington flash a quarter
when asked for ID?
27. How come there aren't B batteries?
28. If the post office has machines
that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they
give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
29. How do "Do not walk on the
grass" signs get there?
30. Why do black olives come in
cans and green olives come in jars?
31. Is a metaphor like a simile?
32. Before they invented drawing
boards, what did they go back to?
33. How do I set my laser printer
on stun?
34. How is it possible to have
a civil war?
35. If all the world is a stage,
where is the audience sitting?
36. If love is blind, why is lingerie
so popular?
37. If the #2 pencil is so popular,
why is it still #2?
38. If you ate pasta and antipasta,
would you still be hungry?
39. Why is the alphabet in that
order? Is it because of that song?
40. If I melt dry ice, can I take
a bath without getting wet?
41. Could crop circles be the
work of a cereal killer?
42. Crime doesn't pay...does that
mean that my job is a crime?
43. Did Noah keep his bees in
archives?
44. How can there be self-help
"groups"?
47. How do they get the deer to
cross at that yellow road sign?
45. How do you know that honesty
is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
46. How do you throw away a garbage
can?
47. How does a thermos know if
the drink should be hot or cold?
48. How does the guy who drives
the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
49. Do you realize how many holes
there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out
of them?
50. If a word in the dictionary
were misspelled, how would we know?
51. If Superman is so smart, then
why does he wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?
52. If you're in a vehicle going
the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
53. What happens to an 18 hour
bra after 18 hours?
54. Why didn't Noah swat those
two mosquitoes?
55. Why do hot dogs come 10 to
a package and hot dog buns only 8?
56. Why do tourists go to the
tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see
things on the ground close-up?
57. Why do we kill people for
killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
58. Why is it that bullets ricochet
off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
59. Why is it that night falls
but day breaks?
60. Why is it that you must wait
until night to call it a day?
61. How do you remove a club soda
stain?
62. What if the Hokey Pokey IS
what its all about?
63. When your pet bird sees you
reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring
at carpeting?
64. What happened to the first
6 "ups"?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke courtesy of Klean-Jokes.com
Visit them for many more cool jokes, and signup for the
joke a day newsletter.